


i didn't ever wanna let go but you did

by meananimagus



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Jihoon is a sweetheart, M/M, Post-Break Up, Soonyoung is an idiot, confused kwon soonyoung, fr tho, have i mentioned soonyoung is stupid? anyway he is, minwon if you squint, soonwoo best bffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus
Summary: a soonyoung-plays-the-idiot-for-the-entire-fic-and-his-friends-just-needs-a-break-from-him au that no one asked for.excuse my shitty summarization skills, my half braincell is barely functioning at this time of the day (or 24/7 to be honest)
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	i didn't ever wanna let go but you did

"soonyoung, you're such an idiot."

the addressed male groaned, frustration and self-hatred coating the sound that escaped his lips, reverberating all over the four corners of the cramped dorm room. the said male had his limbs all spread out above the bed across from his roommate's, who is glaring at him at the moment, disappointed.

"i can't even be bothered to be nice to you right now because i feel like i just lost all my respect towards you."

"you're being too dramatic, wonwoo, you're supposed to help me not keep on nagging at me and my bad decisions in life."

"i said i'd help, didn't i, soonyoung? but not in that way, jesus christ, did you even think for a second there? you came back and sacrificed your established career abroad to get back with jihoon but, hold up, let me just remind you in case you weren't aware of whatever the fuck you did back in that cafe an hour ago, i was about to introduce myself to him as your bestfriend then you interrupted and said i'm your boyfriend, oh my god, i'm going to fucking have a brain aneurysm. if this crap reaches mingyu, i'm dead. soonyoung, explain this to my fucking boyfriend and to that ex of yours and just tell him you still love him, why did you have to overcomplicate things, i'm going to fucking cry!"

soonyoung jumped off his own bed and tackled the flailing boy, pushing a pillow to slam it against wonwoo's mouth. the boy's arms flailed even more, grabbing for soonyoung's arms and pushing the smaller off of him.

"fucking sadist, that's attempted murder, you peanuthead." the dark-haired male muttered underneath his breath which earned a flick on the forehead from the other that he, once again, whined over for.

"if you don't shut up, i'm going to smash your nintendo switch onto the wall." wonwoo gasped at that, eyes bulging sockets that soonyoung just rolled his eyes at. sighing hard and pulling at his hair in anger.

"i fucked up, didn't i?" a silent 'no shit' and soonyoung held back himself from smacking the boy over again. "he's engaged, won."

probably the most painful statement he ever said and wonwoo's annoyance suddenly dissipated, shooting his bestfriend a sympathetic glance. soonyoung chuckled in bitter amusement, with a palm tapping against his chest, right where he can feel his heart twisting.

"i..." a shaky inhale, "when i received that wedding invitation last week and read 'lee-hong' at the cover, i already assumed it's him and jisoo, you know. i mean, five years ago, he left me for jisoo. they must love each other that much to still be together at this point and... to get married. but like the stupid asshole that i am, i still hoped. i prayed it was a fake invitation to get me to go home here and get him back. i'm so stupid, wonwoo. he's getting married to the guy he cheated on me with five years ago yet i came back for him because despite of what he did, i'm still so fucking in love with him. i love jihoon, wonwoo. so much."

the taller extended his arms for soonyoung to crash onto, pulling his bestfriend closer for a hug and soonyoung feels grateful. he really is. but he's just too hurt to be vocal about it. so he sobbed, he wailed, he let out all of the pain within him, in hopes that after the breakdown, it would all be gone. but heartbreaks were never that easy, are they?

soonyoung's mind wandered back to a couple hours ago as he wrenched his heart out to his best friend's arms.

_________

soonyoung stood in front of the all too familiar small establishment, his eyes smiling and the brims filled with nostalgia as memories that occured in the shop and around the vicinity flashed through his mind. it has been what? half a decade? almost six years since he last stepped foot in this particular parking spot and into that little library cafe. he missed it, it was no doubt he did. but there's so much more than that place that soonyoung's heart aches for.

he took a deep breath, determination albeit yet slowly overtaking the hesitation that was nagging behind his head. he stepped forward and continued to walk through the path that leads to the glass door and pushed it open as soon as he reached it, in fear that he would pussy out if he didn't. the bells echoed through the cozy shop, earning the attention of the boy standing behind the counter.

soonyoung felt his heart fell to his stomach like a gyro and it almost freaked him out.

of course, he expected to see the boy and it was the reason why he came in the shop for, but maybe he underestimated his emotions and thought he was ready, or at least ready enough to face him again. he was wrong.

jihoon's eyes widened and soonyoung noticed how he almost dropped the phone he's had grasped in his tiny hands. but soonyoung isn't any better, he felt a constricting pain against his chest, and a stinging burn on the corners of his eyes.

it still hurt too much. the pain hasn't lessened one bit and it was just frustrating because he has to cover it up. he wanted this, wonwoo warned him again and again and checked on him countless while he was on his way but he wanted this. he's been waiting for so long to see jihoon again, to talk to him. he's been aching for so long to hold the boy close and kiss him silly.

he couldn't entirely believe how he still wanted all those things when jihoon was the one who broke them apart.

five years ago.

five years ago when jihoon kissed his bestfriend, hong jisoo, right in front of his boyfriend, kwon soonyoung, and declared that he fell out of love of the latter, eyes downcast and hands clenched into fist. soonyoung was blinded by the pain, feeling like he's just been stabbed right in the chest. so he stormed out of the boy's apartment, cried under the rain and crashed onto his bestfriend's arms when he arrived, soaked and falling apart.

'what a fucking cliche."

and the next day, he was out of the country, abusing the accept button of the email he's received from the university he applied for that states he's passed the test. the email that has been sitting around his laptop for weeks while he contemplated in pushing through his plans because he didn't want to leave his boyfriend behind, he didn't want to leave jihoon and be away from him for too long. turns out jihoon wouldn't really care, because it was him who got away.

soonyoung hadn't expected he would be back on the spot where jihoon left him after years and years of trying to move forward and get over him. there, at that cafe, standing right in front of the boy who hurt him, yet also the boy his heart still screams for.

"soonyoung.." jihoon spoke first, and there's a clog that soonyoung felt, forming against his throat after hearing the voice that he fell in love with, he swallowed hard.

"hey, it's been a long time," he stepped closer and stopped just a meter away from the counter. forcing a tight smile, "jihoon."

"yeah, a long time."

"how are you?" honestly, soonyoung thinks he deserves a pat on the back for not crying right then and there, and for being able to keep his voice okay as if he wasn't breaking from the inside. he stared onto jihoon's face, his forehead furrowed and eyes flickering everywhere the shop but never landing onto soonyoung's own pair. soonyoung missed those eyes and it hurts that the boy can't even look at him now.

"i've been fine. how was london?" jihoon's answer came off too rehearsed, like it's all he's been telling people who asked him how's it going with him.

"it was an amazing country, would've brought you there if一" jihoon stiffened as soonyoung caught his words, mentally screaming because 'what the fuck, why would you say that, idiot?'

"i mean... yeah. it's okay. i guess i'm a surgeon now.." jihoon smiled at that and it was pretty genuine and warm if soonyoung wasn't thinking he's just seeing things.

"congratulations, it was your dream after all." for the first time since they met again, jihoon looked into soonyoung's eyes, and the latter didn't wanna read wrongly into his emotions but the boy is clearly letting him know how proud he is of him and that's enough. soonyoung felt himself smiling for real in response.

"how.. how's jisoo?" stupid question, now he's back to uncomfortable shifting across the boy. jihoon though, remaining cool, answered.

"oh, he's busy with the engagements preparations, he's always been hands on to stuffs like that." the drop of his heart and sudden urge to bawl his eyes out on the floor was too much to bear. he's almost desperate to scream at jihoon. tell him he still loves him and he came back for him. tell him to not marry jisoo and marry him instead. tears began to prickle at his eyes and just before they completely fell, the door to the shop bursted open.

"soonyoung-ah, i'm not late, am i?" he's never been so thankful towards wonwoo than at that moment. he immediately pulled the his bestfriend closer to his side and spoke.

"won, this is jihoon. jihoon, he's wonwoo." it was no denying that the youngest was confused, but he still extended an arm to offer to the newcomer.

"my boyfriend."

'what the fuck' soonyoung can clearly hear wonwoo's voice in his head and he doesn't blame him. he would scream those words to himself too because, what the fuck was he thinking?

soonyoung was also probably tricking himself when he saw how jihoon's face fall, but it was gone as soon as it happened so he can't be sure. although, the boy's smile is too tight-lipped to be real.

___________

mingyu dropped by the next morning with a friend in tow. and soonyoung was in another heartbreak phase that as soon as he opened the door to their apartment, he buried himself back onto the pile of thick sheets and pillows in his bed, wonwoo having just emerged from the bathroom.

he's usually friendly and hospitable but he's still hurting and wonwoo understands so the male just flashed the visitors a smile and led them to the small couch.

soonyoung planned to just tune everything out and sleep it off, but there was something nagging at the back of his mind to listen, to pay attention. and the moment a certain name has been spoken by the boy mingyu arrived with, soonyoung sat up abruptly, earning concerned glances from the three.

"can you say that name again?" he caught the eyes of the male he still doesn't know the identity of, who stared back in mild confusion before speaking again.

"jisoo?"

"did you mean hong jisoo? lee jihoon's fiancee?"

"excuse me, what?" soonyoung stared at the man, questions swimming in his eyes and the former was just staring at him like he just spoke of the joke of the year.

"hong jisoo is my boyfriend which i'm going to marry a couple months from now and lee jihoon is my cousin who would be, unfortunately, my bestman. so if you don't mind me asking, are you this idiot named kwon soonyoung who flew out of the country five years ago, believing this even more idiot jihoon who lied about cheating to get his boyfriend to chase after his dreams? who is also this kwon soonyoung who barged into the coffee shop yesterday, sparking up hopes from my cousin once more just for you to tear them all down again by introducing wonwoo as his boyfriend?"

"oh my god, what kind of twisted fanfiction is this?" wonwoo let his face fall into mingyu's chest, who held the back of his head and rubbed comforting circles against his back, smiling sympathetically towards soonyoung.

soonyoung, who felt a migraine coming up from every words thst escaped the stranger's lips.

"oh, i'm lee seokmin, by the way."

that was enough to make soonyoung sprint out of the apartment, in his goddamn pajamas and wonwoo's flip-flops. he didn't mind the passerbys that shot him a ridiculous look, he didn't mind the puddle of rain at the sidewalk that he almost stepped into, thank god he swerved lanes. his brain is consisted of nothing else but jihoon. his lee jihoon.

that the moment his eyes caught the sight of the shop, he ran even faster, bursting inside and pulling the boy into a hug when he spotted him holding a rag and is wiping clean an empty table.

jihoon startled and almost pulled away until he sniffed soonyoung's familiar scent, felt soonyoung's familiar arms around him, and he sagged. tears forming themselves underneath his lids as he buried his face against the taller's neck.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry i lied. i'm sorry for hurting you." soonyoung was full on sobbing by now. face buried against jihoon's blonde locks as he pressed kisses onto the scalp. jihoon wrapped his arms around the older's waist, his voice muffled by soonyoung's shirt while he speaks but it doesn't matter. the only thing that matters right now is jihoon, and that he's back in his arms now.

"i missed you so much.."

that was more than enough.


End file.
